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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE




Definition
Domestic Violence simply put is the violence against another in an intimate relationship such as marriage and dating

Occurrence
Domestic Violence is not peculiar to a culture, people, race or country. It affects all creed and race all over the world. It is not an African phenomenon but a global issue.

TRIGGERS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
Domestic violence can be triggered by different things like;

  •  Jealousy Out Of Love
  •  Hate
  • The Use Of Drugs
  •  Envy
  •  Low Self Esteem
  •  Hot Temper/Anger
  •  Psychiatric Tendencies
  •  Retaliation 
  •  Growing Up In A Hostile Environment
  •  Affluence


Domestic Violence can occur in the relationship of the following groups
(a) Between couples- in this group, violence can be from all of the above mentioned triggers

(b) Between siblings - the triggers of violence in this group are mainly; Jealousy, Envy, Uses of drugs, Hot temper/Anger,Hate, Affluence, Retaliation.

(c) Between parent and child- violence in this group of relationship are triggered by retaliation, Hot Temper/Anger, Use of drugs, hostile environment, Psychiatric Tendencies, Hate, Low Self Esteem, Affluence, Growing up in a Hostile Environment.


JEALOUSY OUT OF LOVE
In this, one of the spouse believed in his/her mind that the love he/she gives is higher or greater than that being reciprocated by their partner and they mostly feel their partner needs to be set in the right path by any means seem suitable for the offence, which may result in violence. As we have in Nigeria(Africa) where the wrong doing of a child is giving a proper spanking for his mistake.
Jealous lover can also display a high level of extreme control over the other as in OBSESSION. That is, a sense of "you belong solely to me and nobody else not even your folks can take you, because you are mine". this mostly happens to being one of the very few favorite quotes that plays in their mind.
To  them, its like an act of sole proprietorship that even the affected spouse feels owned.
In Jealousy out of Love,it is one factor that you see the afflicter always being apologetic after the deeds.

HATE
When a partner is irritated by the other, it grows into hate. Irritations often starts by bits of dislikes and this gives hint to the fact that all is not really well. It is at this stage, partners divorce as a result of irreconcilable differences and violence.

USES Of DRUGS
 Drugs as low as alcohol can shut down our ability for right judgment and judgment of character.
Other drugs such as cocaine, nicotine and other narcotics have severe effects on the mind and reasoning capacity.
Most times, the person induced by drugs must have had some beef or grievances against the person that it is carried upon.
Most times, the cause of what results to the violence as at when the person claims to be 'under the influence' can be said to be unreasonable, but its true cause can be an underlying incident that has occurred in the past. The drugs they claim to blame only brings out the true intention of the heart of the person who carried out the violence.

ENVY
An unhealthy competition that often results in envy. This could sometimes be triggered by affluence in one of the persons involved.


LOW SELF ESTEEM
This is as a result of the molested partner remains in the abusive relationship while being demeaned publicly or privately both by words and action  and still remains in the outright physical abuse/violence because they feel no one else will love them as their abusive spouse and in most cases, they feel they can not do without their abusive partner.
The persons affected by this have no self-esteem in themselves or what they are capable of doing, making them crawl back begging at the end of each violence.
Some even take the blame as to the action of their abusive partner, giving their abuser the seat of a demi-god.

PSYCHIATRIC TENDENCIES
 People with history of mental illness tends to react violently when they have psychotic episodes and this can be triggered by an omission in their taking of their medication, a memory or an event of pain from their past that look similar to the one being experience, or when under pressure.

HOT TEMPER/ANGER ISSUES
As the name implies, someone with a short fuse and no self control could definitely go wild at the
slightest provocation.
Most persons with short fuse have anger management issues. They override their emotions and take violent action but they fail to understand that in as much they can get angry, it is not healthy to express anger in a violent way resulting in a physical abuse.

GROWING UP IN A HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT
 Hostile environments can be in the form of;
a. Growing up with abusive parents- where a parent or both parents engage in abuse such as drugs, fighting and using cuss cuss words.
b. Neighborhood influence- living in a neighborhood where gangstas, warlords are dominant and the young child or adult have easy access to them and also to partake.
c. Media Influence- one of the major contributing factors to today's future leaders is the media. If parents fail to constructively put a watch as to what is being viewed on TVs and other Screens and magazines the young child and adult takes to what the media sells to them and most times these kids spent time viewing sites that freely sell violence, porn etc.I have a saying that goes "it is what a man build himself with that he becomes"
d. Lack of the Word of truth(God)- God is the creator of the universe and all that is in it. HE is the source of and to life, His word is truth and life and the manual to living a better and fulfilled life as instructed in the Bible.
The greatest commandment is LOVE.when you love your neighbor as you love yourself, you will not participate in violence.

AFFLUENCE
Nothing causes chaos like money and material things when not properly handled. For financial benefits and gains, spouse, parents and even children can become creatively evil to carry their acts.


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